We have spent hours working on a new idea and anticipation builds as our design nears fruition. When suddenly visions of groundbreaking work are squashed by the reality of empty seats, a mass amount of leftovers, and questions about what went wrong.
As a leader, there will be times we get it wrong. Sometimes it is an individual failure, and other times it is a team’s shared failure. Regardless we should not fear failure. Failure is the pain of development. We may experience pain at the gym, but we know that the pain experienced typically leads to better health. Much like pain, failure is only temporary. Failure pushes us and leads to healthier leaders, teams, and organizations.
In upcoming posts we will explore the aftermath of failures. In the meantime may we take this thought with us: Failure is a temporary necessity to healthy futures.
Just out of high school I worked as a pitchman. My job was to speak about products in a compelling way as to make the audience want to purchase what I was presenting. I would set up at flea markets and festivals attempting to draw the largest crowds I possibly could. The larger the crowd, the more I sold. The lessons I learned from this job have been invaluable to me in ministry.
One such lesson that I am often reminded of is that the immediate audience is not always the primary audience. The hardest part of developing a crowd is getting the permission to begin a presentation. Permission was granted when I could get one interested party to stop and listen to my presentation. What I found most interesting is that the person who purchased my product was usually not the one who gave me permission to present. Instead, my sales generally came from the onlooker, the person who joined the presentation late and listened from a distance. My immediate audience, the one who gave me permission to begin, rarely became my customer. My customer was the secondary audience.
The same is true in ministry. In youth ministry we have our primary audience: our students, parents, and families that are part of the church. We can have a positive impact on them for Jesus. My experience though is that when our primary audience gives us permission, and we seek to do our presentation well, then a door is opened to the curious onlookers. These onlookers are many times the ones that we get the opportunity to share the gospel with for the very first time. These onlookers or secondary audience can quickly become our “customers” as we share the good news of the resurrection.
A friend once shared with me that he was praying with a church member who was in the hospital. The nurse came into the room and asked to speak with my friend. He was worried because he often prays loudly and was certain that she was going to tell him to keep it down. Instead, the nurse said that her other three patients heard his prayer from their rooms. They all wanted to know if he would also come pray with them.
Friends, may we not shy away from our calling. May we seek to do well in our presentations, whatever they may be, so that we are presented with more opportunities to speak to this secondary audience. After all, the second audience is ripe for the harvest!
Bonhoeffer once wrote, “The church is the church only when it exists for others.”
What is the church?
Better yet, who is the church?
We are the church and yet we ask ourselves, what is my purpose in life?
Jesus existed only for others. Let’s not be obligated to “religiousness” or “tradition.” Instead, let us be the church, existing only for others. That is what it means to be the holy church, filled with holy participants in God’s Kingdom.
Leaders, we need your heart, passion, gifts, love and even correction. We need you to lead like Jesus. So go…Lead!
Tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of my first day in youth ministry. It seems like yesterday that I started serving God through youth ministries. I was only 19 and what a ride it has been. One of the greatest hypocrisies of my life is that I was blessed to serve in youth ministry roles at such a young age and today I’m not certain that I would put a 19 year old in similar positions. Regardless, I’m thankful for the past 10 years. I’ve made a lot of mistakes and I’ve learned a lot. There are many things I would do differently if I could do them again. As I was reflecting on my past 10 years, I figured I would put together a list of 10 things I’ve learned (I could count more but I’ll save those for my 20 list that I’ll be doing in 10 more years). Take some time and read through my list. Some of the lessons on my list, I believe, can apply to anyone.
10 Lessons From 10 Years
- Youth ministry is full of highs and lows. From the highs of camps and retreats to the lows of the teen you invested so much time in giving up on their faith. Expect both and know that neither last forever.
- We must remember our place. Although it may be significant in its impact, we must remember that we only play a small role in the broad spectrum of a person’s life. Let’s not over emphasize our importance and remember that Jesus is still in charge.
- Teaching behavior modification does nothing for our teens and only makes happy parents and happy church members. We need to remember that our time with teens is short and so we should use that time to influence how they perceive and process information. Think tools for a lifetime not just tools for next week.
- Passion for change and passion for others are fickle and should not be trusted. On the flip side, deeply held convictions can be stale and stubborn. Instead we should seek some balance of passion for change, passion for other people and our deeply held convictions.
- The greatest life transformation happens in the small chunks of time and conversations that happen with individuals or small groups of individuals outside of the classroom or worship settings. Let us remember to take advantage of these times, even when we’re tired.
- Graduating kids out of the youth group every year is tough. Every year, between the months of May and August, I will grieve.
- Let’s not kid ourselves, the opinions of parents and church members matter. Even though at times we feel like they don’t understand the reasoning behind what we do, let us try to do our best to communicate the why behind everything. Many times people are not against what we’re doing, they just need the fog removed a little so they can see what’s really going on.
- Organization in youth ministry is rare. Strive to be organized. There are seasons when youth ministry runs at lightning speeds and organization becomes nearly impossible. Strive to be organized the rest of the time. It’s amazing how much credibility and trust you can gain from parents, church leaders and outside organizations with just a little organization. Someday when you mess up, you’ll need to cash in some of that credit you’ve gained.
- Think long term. Your attendance is down by 10% this semester; you’ve graduated your top singer and guitar player; you just can’t seem to win with a parent…no matter what you’re facing just remember that longevity and faithfulness will win out. In the end fun, passion and excitement are short lived and will never beat out faithfulness.
- The struggle between family time and youth ministry time is real and never gets easier. You will always be battling that balance. Try your best to set boundaries and don’t be afraid to defend those boundaries. I will always flex days so that I am not depriving my family of the time we should spend together. Always remember that you LOVE your family and CARE about the youth ministry- it should always fall in that terminology and order.
So here’s to the next 10 years and many more lessons!